Weddings
Weddings come in all shapes and sizes, like the brides that are in charge. I say "brides in charge" because, let's face it grooms, once you plan that elaborate proposal and are engaged, the bride takes over from there. Yes, you help. But it usually is in reaction to requests, however subtle or overt, from your bride to be.
Ceremonies roughly fall into five major categories: Budget, moderate, luxury, elopement and destination weddings. I recently participated in my sister's wedding which fell somewhere between budget and moderate and was a bit of a destination wedding at a lakeside resort. Every detail was perfectly planned and the wedding went off without a hitch all because of the bride's event planning experience and gentle task-manager skills.
Family, friends, bridesmaids and groomsmen were excited for the wedding and geared up for an extended weekend at a lakeside resort. And we were all assigned tasks to do either weeks before the wedding, the day of the ceremony or after the ceremony. When we arrived at the wedding location two days before the event, my lovely bride sister had a three-ring binder with all her wedding coordination plans neatly organized in print. That binder contained the secrets to the most organized wedding I've participated in. If you don't want to hire a wedding coordinator and want to do it yourself, here's how my sister did it. Amend this to suit your wedding's needs/tastes and assign anyone you want to the task(s). The key is delegation and proper follow-up by the bride (and groom).
Tips and Tasks Before the Wedding
- Get yourself a good checklist for wedding "to-do's" - use our wedding guide, Martha Stewart magazine's pull-out, or any other resource you can find to help you with such big items as dress and tux/suit purchases, music secured, minister/officiant reserved, ring purchases, flowers, cake, food, etc.
- Set a budget and stick to it - use the checklist and decide what items are critical to you and which are flexible (example: toasts can be made and enjoyed without the expense of champagne or sparkling wine and people can raise whatever glass they have in their hand)
- Before sending save the dates and invitations and doing any wedding planning, have a heart-to-heart with the groom about what should be the spirit and environment of the wedding
- Use people's strengths and assign tasks they will like and can handle - know your helpers well
- Rely upon both bride and groom family and friends and spread things out if needed - don't keep relying on your maid of honor for everything!
- Throw a party to assemble and address wedding invitations - with all the scrapbooking and fancy paper stores around, it is easy to create a professional-looking invite at a low cost
- Drinks - assign people to pick up kegs of beer, cases of wine and ingredients for mixed drinks unless bartender at receception site has those covered; assign same people who pick up those ingredients to set those items out at the reception (unless the reception site covers this)
- Create notebook with contact information of vendors (for cake, food, flowers, music, minister, etc.) and set an itinerary for the wedding day (i.e., timing of bride's hair and make-up, timing of photos and who gets photos when and where)
- Assign one person to the rehearsal dinner coordination and communication if necessary, etc. (perhaps place the groom's family in charge of this if they are covering costs of this meal and event)
Tasks for Wedding and Reception Set-Up
- Bride reviews notebook with groom and bridesmaids of itinerary and ceremony + reception map with location of decorations so others can direct vendors and not have to rely on the bride for all the answers
- If grandparents or others need wheelchair access to buildings or locations, keep that in mind when planning the wedding
- Assign one person to the ceremony location as "site lead" for decorations and to be a runner if needed
- Assign another person to the reception location as "site lead" for decorations, meeting vendors, etc. and enough people to help set up the decorations
- When photos are happening, make sure at least one or two people (a bridesmaid and groomsman, most likely) can be runners for the photographer to gather the appropriate family members at picture time
Tasks for Leaving the Wedding
- Make arrangements ahead of time for transporting gifts
- Make arrangements for transporting extra alcohol and food
- Assign multiple people to take down decorations or remaining items that may be important to keep
My sister must have had many more tasks I was unaware of, but it all happened so smoothly, I didn't notice. Next family wedding I attend or participate in, I'll be fully prepared. Thanks, sis. ;-)
This article was originally published October 2007.
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For their breathtaking landscapes, natural beauty, rich history, cultural allure, and diverse entertainment offerings, here’s our list of the top 10 states for destination weddings.
1. Nevada: Las Vegas, often called the "Wedding Capital of the World," is famous for its swift, simple, and frequently impromptu weddings. The city's numerous chapels, combined with its entertainment and nightlife, make it the #1 destination for out-of-state weddings. However, beyond the Strip, Nevada also boasts stunning desert landscapes and luxury resorts. For couples beginning their planning, the Las Vegas tourism board's wedding guide is an excellent starting point.
2. Hawaii: With its tropical beaches, lush landscapes, and romantic sunsets, Hawaii is a top choice for many couples. Each island offers a unique backdrop, from the dramatic cliffs of Kauai to the bustling beaches of Waikiki. There are no state residence or U.S. citizenship requirements to get married in Hawaii. Couples can find everything from caterers to florists and photographers on the Go Hawaii website.
3. Florida: Popular spots like Miami, the Florida Keys, and various Gulf Coast locations attract out-of-state couples (particularly those from the Northeast), seeking a sunny and sandy wedding. The state also boasts numerous luxury coastal resorts and, of course, there’s Disney World. The Visit Florida wedding planning guide provides details on getting married in Florida and offers ideas and inspiration for exceptional venues.
4. New York: Beyond the allure of a New York City wedding, upstate New York offers beautiful venues in the Catskills, the Adirondacks, and the Finger Lakes wine region. With its iconic landmarks and cosmopolitan charm, New York City is especially popular among international couples traveling to the U.S. to tie the knot. New York State was one of the first states in the nation to legalize marriage for LGBTQ individuals. I Love NY’s LGBTQ New York Wedding Guide incudes details about licensing rules and LGBTQ-friendly venues.
5. California: No other state offers such a diverse landscape and range of options for destination weddings. From beaches to the wine country of Napa and Sonoma, coastal towns along the Pacific Coast Highway, glamorous spots like Beverly Hills, and rustic settings in the majestic Redwoods or Sierra Nevada mountains – the choices are vast. Visit California provides dozens of venue options to help you craft the perfect celebration.
6. Colorado: For those seeking a mountain backdrop, Colorado provides breathtaking venues in places like Aspen, Vail, and Estes Park. Whether in summer or winter (indeed, even winter), Colorado is the destination for high-altitude weddings. If you’re eager to wed in Colorado but mountains aren’t your thing, Colorado offers an array of venue options from dude ranches and historic hotels to luxury resorts.
7. South Carolina: Exuding Southern charm, South Carolina boasts beautiful beachfront, coastal, mountainous, and urban settings to say “I do.” Charleston, especially, has surged in popularity in recent years. With its historic ambiance, cobblestone streets, and moss-draped oak trees, it ranks as one of the premier wedding destinations in the Southeast. TheKnot provides a comprehensive guide to assist couples in obtaining a marriage license in South Carolina.
8. Louisiana: With its rich Cajon and Creole heritage and Bayou beauty, Louisiana presents diverse settings that make it an excellent choice for destination weddings. New Orleans stands out, especially its historic French Quarter, vibrant music scene, and festive atmosphere, as a favorite for many out-of-state couples. Moreover, the state’s world-renowned cuisine, featuring dishes like gumbo, jambalaya, po’boys and beignets infuse a distinctive flavor into wedding feasts. The Ultimate Guide to New Orleans Weddings offers resources ranging from help obtaining a marriage license to arranging a second line and assistance with your group hotel reservation.
9. Arizona: Home to some of the country's most picturesque landscapes, from the awe-inspiring Grand Canyon to the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona offers a unique and stunning backdrop for any wedding. Additionally, with over 300 days of sunshine each year, Arizona is a dependable choice for outdoor ceremonies. However, be mindful of the extreme temperatures in the summer! Whether you prefer a luxurious resort in Scottsdale, a rustic ranch setting, or an intimate desert ceremony, Arizona is an excellent choice. If you’re contemplating tying the knot in the desert, the Brides guide to planning a successful desert wedding offers helpful tips and recommendations.
10. Alaska: This choice might be unexpected and less conventional, but for adventurous couples, seeking a truly unique experience, Alaska presents an opportunity to marry amidst majestic glaciers, snow-capped peaks, tranquil lakes and picturesque rivers. In certain parts of Alaska, during specific times of the year, the sun barely sets. This provides extended daylight for festivities and unique photography moments. However, Alaska’s weather is unpredictable, so it’s crucial to be prepared for a range of conditions, even in summer. “Anything can happen in the great wide open” notes Alaska Bride. Check out their tips for planning an outdoor wedding. Finally, it’s worth noting that some of Alaska’s most breathtaking locations are remote, potentially leading to higher travel costs and time for guests attending the celebration.
Naturally, "top destinations” is subjective and this list may change based on trends, economic factors, and global events like pandemics. Ultimately, it isn’t just about the scenery, weather or cultural significance of a location; it’s about what’s best for you, your partner and the loved ones celebrating with you. Finally, before you get too far down the road with planning, be sure to check and know the current marriage license requirements. Happy wedding planning!
October 16, 2023
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The high, and seemingly ever-increasing, costs of travel and accommodations make it challenging for many newlyweds to realize their dream honeymoons.
Enter honeymoon registries! Honeymoon registries make it easy for couples to create a list of desired experiences, accommodations, or activities for their honeymoon, much like a traditional gift registry. Instead of, or in addition to, registering for physical gifts like household items, couples can list elements of their honeymoon, such as flights, hotel stays, excursions or meals. Wedding guests can then contribute financially to these items or experiences, helping the couple fund their dream trip.
This type of registry has become particularly popular among couples who prefer experiential gifts over traditional ones. And many guests prefer contributing to a honeymoon fund over purchasing traditional registry items. This approach enables them to be part of creating a memorable experience for the couple, rather than giving a material object. Afterall, who remembers who gave them a set of knives, place setting or set of towels for their wedding?
Here is a handful of popular honeymoon registries:
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Hitchd: Hitchd is a honeymoon registry service that offers a variety of contribution methods including PayPal, Venmo and Cash App. Some of these methods are free for both the couple and their guests. However, if guests contribute using credit cards, there is a small processing fee.
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Honeyfund: Frequently ranked as a top choice for honeymoon registries, Honeyfund allows couples to create a honeymoon registry where guests can contribute to their honeymoon expenses. Guests can contribute using gift cards, PayPal and Venmo with no fees, while a small fee is applicable for other methods.
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Honeymoon Wishes: Honeymoon Wishes offers a free sign-up and registry creation. Depending how you choose to receive your funds there may be fees ranging from $4.95 to 7%. As their website points out, this is often less than the shipping, taxes, and gift-wrapping charges of traditional registries.
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Travler’s Joy: Traveler's Joy allows for cash, check, or direct transfer gifts free of charge. For credit card gifts, a 2.95% service fee is deducted from the gift amount, which can be covered by either the guests or the couple.
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Zola: Zola provides a honeymoon fund as part of its broader wedding registry services. They charge a nominal transaction fee for honeymoon funds to cover credit card processing costs. Couples have the option to either absorb this fee or let guests pay it at checkout. There's also a zero-fee option for guests who contribute directly to the couple's Venmo account.
Of course, it's important to compare options and to understand the terms of service before committing to one of these services. We also recommend reading recent customer reviews at sites like Trustpilot.
Thanks to Corinne M. for writing to share her honeymoon registry experience: "I checked out several registries - used Honeymoon Wishes and absolutely loved it! Everything was so professional and my guests raved about it. They even took the time to read my whole registry to my Grandma over the phone!"
March 10, 2023.
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Is being able to walk to nearby restaurants, bars, coffee shops and shopping important to your attendees? What about access to public transportation?
There's a lot of talk about "green" events these days and the best way to make your event fun and green is to choose a location with convenient access to the amenities and activities your attendees want and that doesn't require them to drive long distances or wait in endless cab lines to get around.
The folks at Walk Score, which measures the walkability of any address, just ranked the most walkable covention centers. Here's the top 5:
Visit Walk Score and know the walkability of your next event location.
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By guest blogger Kate L. Harrison
An important piece of wedding planning is coordinating transportation and trying to anticipate the travel needs of your guests. These arrangements are often dependent on the season, timing, and location of your wedding. However, wherever and whenever you wedding is, there are many great eco-friendly transportation options to choose from.
First Stop: Let Go of The Limo
According to The Wedding Report, about 75% of couples travel to and from their wedding in a limousine, at an average cost of $674. Just think about how many tons of CO2 and how much money you can save if you choose an eco-friendly option instead! For example, imagine the attention and the fabulous photographs you and your fiancée would get if you traveled to your wedding on a trolley, bus, or subway. Don’t have that far to go? Consider a more romantic option like a tandem bicycle for a farm wedding, an elegant horse and carriage ride for a wedding on a historic property, or a boat for a wedding at the water’s edge.
If you still have your heart set on a limo, see if you can rent a hybrid limo, and always ask the driver to pick up the entire bridal party in one location. This will decrease driving time and save you money too!
It’s Electric!
The hybrid, alternative fuel, and electric vehicle rental market is growing quickly and all of these options are significantly better for the environment than traditional limousines. Look online for car services and rental companies that offer electric, hybrid, biodiesel, or other eco-friendly vehicles in your area. When you find one, post a link on your wedding website to make sure your guests who are in need of rentals use them as well.
Keep It In One Place
One of the easiest ways to decrease the impact of your wedding is to have your ceremony and reception in the same location. The average wedding has 160 guests, so even if four guests pile into a car (which is unlikely; probably most cars only carry two guests), that’s still forty vehicles driving from one location to the next, which adds up to a lot of carbon emissions. A single location eliminates the problem, and saves your guests the hassle and headache of getting from one place to another. If that location is close to public transportation, you guarantee that getting there will be a snap and will have minimal impact on the earth.
Provide Transportation for Everyone
Have a lot of guests staying at a hotel, or all together in one place? Consider hiring a bus or van to move everyone en masse. If you provide snacks and drinks on board, a wedding bus can be a highlight for you and your guests. A trolley is a fun option too, and if you find a company that has electric trolleys, it’s even better. This is also a good way to decrease car travel if you have your ceremony and reception in different locations.
Carpools
Carpools are a good way to decrease the total amount of pollution your wedding generates, and they give you, your friends and family the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company. Cars produce the same amount of pollution whether they carry one passenger or five, so help your guests carpool by setting up a ride board on your website and encouraging guests who live in the same area to connect with each other ahead of time. You can even set up a Google Sheet and just have guests share their plans and contact information.
Reduce What You Can, Then Offset Rest
Once you reduce the carbon footprint of your wedding as much as possible, you can use a carbon calculator to figure out the remaining impact an offset it. Carbon-offsetting can be especially useful for a wedding with a lot of guests traveling in by plane or car, or a destination wedding.
Remember that when it comes to the travel associated with your wedding, every choice makes a difference. Choose the options that work best for your celebration and your guests’ needs, and you’ll be off to a responsible, sustainable start to your news lives together.
Kate L. Harrison is the author of The Green Bride Guide: How to Plan an Earth-Friendly Wedding on Any Budget and Founder and CEO of The Green Bride Guide, a comprehensive resource with everything you need to plan a green wedding.
August 16, 2009. Photo by Jessica Barnes.
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Organizing a large family reunion, destination wedding or meeting is a lot of work, and the process can quickly become overwhelming. Where to hold the event? How much space is needed? Which facilities can accommodate the group? Who are the good caterers and other service providers in the area? What should be on the menu?
Corporate meeting and event planners do this every day for the most demanding customers in the travel business. And thanks to MiMegasite you can benefit from many of their tips and tools, even if your budget doesn’t include professional planning help.
Read articles on food and beverage planning. Gain insight on new and improved facilities and activities in their destination guides. Use the meeting space planner to determine your square footage requirements. Looking for space options in San Francisco? The facility search tool has information and links for over 900 options, which you can narrow down based on room requirements. Photographers in Phoenix? The supplier search tool has contact and other information for 54 of them as well as recommendations in 46 other supplier categories.
Getting started is often the hardest part, and MiMegasite lowers that hurdle so you can focus on making the right choices for your group.
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By guest blogger Blair deLaubenfels
Does the idea of a winter wedding complete with sleigh rides, making tracks through fresh powder, hot toddies, and friends around a roaring fire make you feel warm and cozy inside, but the idea of planning for one leaves you cold? Then try these 5 tips for simplifying winter wedding planning.
1. Choose a resort that offers something for everyone. North America is full of fabulous places to ski and snowboard, but not all of your guests will be enthusiastic about heading to the slopes. Pick a location that offers a wide range of activities and choices for everybody. Resorts like Whistler, Breckenridge and Vail offer first class nightlife, dining and shopping, as well as plenty of other relaxing and entertaining options for guests of all ages.
2. Hire a local consultant. Even if you're quite familiar with the area you've chosen, finding a highly recommended wedding planner who has lots of experience planning weddings at that destination is a must. Ask for references and check them. Once you've found someone you're comfortable working with, set a budget you can live with and supply the consultant with as much information about the preferences of the guests on your list as you can. Stay in close contact as changes arise.
3. Book early. Peak times at coveted ski resorts are often booked a year or more in advance, so be sure that you get your reservations all set 12 to 18 months before your wedding. Send out invitations as soon as you've made your arrangements so friends and family have plenty of time to schedule time off and travel.
4. Help your guests plan. Have your consultant provide a detailed itinerary to each person attending. Be sure that it includes a map of the area, transportation arrangements to and from accommodations and events, an hourly time-line for your wedding day and the days leading up to it, as well as contact information for your consultant and local emergency numbers. In addition, guests who aren’t familiar with ski resort living will appreciate a packing list with all the items necessary for them to keep warm and safe.
5. Consider taking your photographer with you. Seattle wedding consultant Dianne Greene, of Distinctive Weddings and Events, recommends that you hire a photographer who lives near you so that you can meet and see their work before your wedding. When your photos and album are ready you'll be able to pick them up in person, insuring that you get what you paid for.
Blair deLaubenfels is Senior Editor for Junebug Weddings.
Photo supplied by Whistler photographer David Buzzard
Postscript: Thanks to the anonymous reader who reached out to share that "Lake Placid, NY is also a great place for a winter wedding. Complete with sleigh rides, etc. Lake Placid hosted the Winter Olympic Games two times, 1932 and 1980. It is the only city in North America to have that distinction. In addition to skiing at Whiteface, there is bobsled and luge, the Olympic Museum and tons of great restaurants, shops and a really great spa."
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Planning a wedding, a milestone birthday, anniversary party, or any other organized group event? Scope out potential locations on a site specializing in helping you find event venues. Eventective is a searchable with Google maps per U.S. city flagged with event locations. Full addresses and basic overview information about each venue is also available.
Do your own digging around the site and find the ideal location for your next group event.
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For the second time in my life, I'm going to attend a bridal show with a good friend who just got engaged. The bride-to-be is giddy with ideas, excited for the big day, and relieved her boyfriend finally popped the question.
Friends and family kick in immediately following engagement announcements to help with wedding planning. Best man and maid of honor, along with wedding parties, are carefully selected by the couple. But brides start their research, often gathering ideas for how to celebrate and tie the knot by asking for advice and going to wedding shows.
Enter friends and family. At wedding shows, there are vendors with cake samples and wedding dresses, plus make-up artists, decoration professionals, and wedding coordinators. There will likely be wedding packages offered for destination weddings and honeymoon ideas. With a dizzying array of options, it's nice to bring friends and family along to these events so the bride can get feedback from those she trusts. If people are scattered around the country or world, weddings shows can be great reasons for a girls getaway weekend.
If you are the bride or are a friend or family member of the bride, here are links to bridal/wedding shows across the country:
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Stress-free wedding planning that reflects your personal style.
By guest blogger Blair deLaubenfels
Getting engaged brings euphoria, joy, and expectation. But all too often the initial excitement that comes from saying "yes" to the big question gets lost in the attempt to answer all the little questions like who to hire, what to wear, where to get married, and how much will it cost.
Here are five fun steps to help plan the wedding of your dreams, personal style in tact.
1. Share your deepest desires
Great partners care about each other's dreams and know how to lend support to help them come true. Before you run out and tell your family and friends your big news, sit down with your fiancé and make a list based on your deepest desires.
- List ten things that you really want from your wedding and the five things that are most important to you about your honeymoon.
- Number them in order of priority.
- Talk about why you choose those things and make a pact that you will work together to see that most, if not all of your deepest desires will be met as you make your wedding planning decisions. This mutual understanding and trust will help you arrive at decisions and respond to all the well meaning advice you’re bound to encounter on your way.
- If you start worrying over little things, check your priority list to get back to what really matters.
2. Set up your support team
With the help of trustworthy friends, supportive family members, and recommended wedding professionals, you'll be able to design a stress-free wedding. Put together a friends and family team based on love, reliability, and interest, and give some thought to the unique skills and talents each individual can bring to your day. Don't be shy to delegate.
Choose the professionals you need by recommendation. Hire an experienced wedding consultant that can share their expertise with you or ask friends who have been married recently. Talk to other wedding professionals and look for businesses that have won local and national awards and recognition. Check references! It doesn't take long and the feedback you get will be invaluable in bolstering your confidence, or steering you clear of a costly mistake.
3. Agree on a budget
This is one of the toughest parts of wedding planning. The average wedding in the United States costs between $18,000 and $25,000 depending on where you live. Use your priority list to set a comfortable budget. Splurge on the things that are really important and get creative about the rest.
Junebug Weddings image editor Kim Bamberg and her husband Adam shared their desires and set their budget in a truly inspiring way. They discovered that they had both always dreamt of getting married in France and that Kim had envisioned herself in a gorgeous gown since she was a little girl. Before anyone told them their dreams were too outrageous, they found the perfect chateau just outside of Paris, rented it for a whole week for less than the average reception cost in Seattle, and invited their friends and family to join them on a once in a lifetime vacation. With cake from the neighborhood boulangerie, flowers from a local market, and the most memorable wine on the planet from the vintner down the lane, Kim was ecstatic when she made her way down the aisle in her Madina Vadache designer original.
4. Reflect your personal style
Do what feels most like you! Most cowboys aren't crazy about tuxes with tails, and fashionistas usually aren't comfortable in anything but the very latest haute couture. Don't let magazines, advertisements, or other peoples' expectations drive your choices. There are a million options to choose from in every aspect of wedding planning. Find the elements for your wedding that are all about you and really make them your own.
5. Relax, and let the magic happen
You're in love, and this can be one of the best times of your life.
I've attended countless weddings and heard about all the little things that cause stress and worry. In almost all cases those distractions have turned out not to matter in the end. Learn about your partner's dreams, think creatively to develop a comfortable budget, involve your friends and family in unique ways, and let your style shine through. Chances are, your wedding will be perfectly you.
Blair deLaubenfels is Senior Editor for Junebug Weddings, which features a list of some of the country's most exceptional wedding photographers who are available for travel all over the world.
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By guest blogger Jacquelin Carnegie
When planning a family reunion or wedding, taking over a small resort for your exclusive use works wonders. Certain criteria apply to site selection: The resort (or villa or hacienda or block of rental homes) should be a superior facility, offer sumptuous food, non-intrusive service, first class accommodations, and a secluded setting away from distractions.
There are a number of properties around the country (and the world) that exemplify such high standards. Here are tips on how to research your group's idyllic casa away from casa:
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Look for places that have the feel of a private estate, an ambience of another time and place and are so well run that you (the planner) can relax and enjoy yourself as well.
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Pick a spot with a distinct change of atmosphere to reinforce the concept of getting away from it all. Also, make sure it's the type of place where guests are pampered and made to feel special. You can feel the difference in the level of relaxation for guests when a resort is reserved for your group's exclusive use.
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Small resorts with a residential feel and hotel amenities work best for groups of friends and/or family. The sense of being on a private estate helps people let their guard down and unwind, fostering camaraderie—the reason you all wanted to get together in the first place!
Prep Steps Before You Go
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Before your group arrives, send the property a detailed list of a) The names of all the people in your party, b) The names of people sharing rooms and c) Of those sharing rooms, which ones require a double bed or two single beds.
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Charm also has its downside. In a hotel, most rooms are uniform but in an estate or hacienda, every room is unique, both in size and decoration. Make your guests aware of this beforehand so cousins don't get miffed because one has a nicer, larger room.
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If the property offers activities (such as horseback riding or tennis) or has a spa facility (with facials and massages), check if these services need to be booked in advance. If so, let your guests know and provide a way to tally who wants what when - before you arrive!
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If you are going to a resort outside the U.S., make sure everyone has a valid passport (and remembers to bring it).
Recommended Haciendas in Chile and Mexico
Hacienda Los Lingues in Chile: Hacienda Los Lingues is about an hour south of Santiago in the heart of the wine-producing Cachapoal Valley. It's one of Chile's oldest and best-preserved estates and the same family, whose home it's been since 1599, now runs it as a hotel. The debonair Don German Claro Lyon and his family are your delightful hosts.
If you're looking for old-world, South American charm, the Hacienda Los Lingues is the spot. Shaded verandas lead to 18 rooms and suites furnished with heirloom antiques, family photos and memorabilia.
Activities for groups: a) wine tasting - there's a lovely vineyard on the property and day trips to local wineries; b) horseback riding - the stable of "Aculeo" horses, related to the famed Lipizzanas, is world-renowned.
And, if looking for a destination wedding spot, you can get married in the estate's beautiful, traditional Chilean chapel. You'll feel as if you're on the set of some fantastic South American movie.
Hacienda Temozón in Yucatan, Mexico: In the early 1990's, abandoned (and formerly luxurious) haciendas from the economic heyday of the Yucatan region around Merida, were restored and converted into luxury hotels. Hacienda Temozón, about a half hour from Merida, is the grandest of three newly-restored properties, now part of The Luxury Collection of Starwood Hotels and Resorts.
As a result, you get the best of both worlds: a sense of the affluent lifestyle enjoyed during the economic boom and lovely, modern amenities. Much of the original décor, such as intricately-decorated floor tiles and beamed ceilings, has been preserved in the 28 elegantly-furnished rooms and guest quarters.
Spacious gardens, a spectacular swimming pool, and spa make this an ideal place to relax. It's also an excellent base for exploring the rich cultural heritage of the Yucatan peninsula and the surrounding Mayan architectural sites.
There is also a 17th-century church on the property, ideal for weddings.
Jacquelin Carnegie is a Contributing Travel Editor to Accent magazine. For the past 15 years, she has covered international travel destinations for both consumer and business publications.
August 3, 2006
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Oh, the joy. A bride. A groom. A ceremony filled with romance, happiness, heart-warming vows, and wedding guests blinking back tears or counting the minutes 'til they can drink heartily and dance the night away.
Whether you're planning a destination wedding or a hometown ceremony, here are helpful tips for engaged couples, the wedding party, families, and wedding guests.
Group reservations
Get the inside scoop on how to book group reservations for hotels and flights, including what to look for and what to beware of and common group discount myths.
How to delegate with panache
Delegating is an art. You want as wide a canvas as possible for a wedding. Share responsibilities and only take on what you need to do yourself. These tips for delegating apply to family reunions also, but you'll see the parallels to wedding planning (aren't weddings another form of reunions?).
Why plan a destination wedding?
Benefits of destination weddings can often far outweigh the costs (or misperceived costs). Find out why the popularity of saying "I do" abroad or outside of your hometown is on the rise.
Top destination wedding hotspots
What are the best locations to get married? If your neighborhood church is booked on your chosen date, consider any destination wedding hotspots such as Las Vegas or Hawaii. They cater to weddings and offer idyllic settings for honeymoons.
Licenses and rules for destination weddings
Will your marriage abroad be valid? Learn about licenses and rules for destination weddings so you are as prepared as possible for the big day.
Bachelor and bachelorette party inspirations
He proposed. Finally! Now the planning can begin – for the best man and maid of honor that is. Here are tried-and-true tips for successful (and classy) bachelor parties and bachelorette parties.
More Wedding Planning Tips
p.s., a big thank you to everyone who shared their feedback on this post. A couple of our favs: Kim wrote, "I especially enjoyed reading about how to delegate. This is essential to getting through all of the preparations." And Winnie shared, "I was looking for something like this. Thank you for the tips, so informative."
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We all know proper wedding etiquette, right? Possibly not. MSN published 5 wedding guest myths. I've attended (and been involved in) numerous weddings and agree that these are commonly held beliefs. Here they are:
Myth 1: You can't wear black.
This is like saying you can only wear all black at a funeral.
Myth 2: The bride is your point person for all wedding-related questions.
Bridezilla got her name from this myth. Give her a break.
Myth 3: Shopping from the registry is impersonal.
True that giving the couple something you know they won't return has merit, but if you know the couple well enough, you can also find something lovely and fitting for their needs and tastes outside of the box.
Myth 4: An invitation means you can bring a date.
This is fairly serious as brides and grooms have budgeted for a certain quantity of food and drinks, and space. It's polite to respect their wishes to only invite you (even though you may want to bop them over the head for leaving you dateless).
Myth 5: The couple is responsible for your accommodations.
This can sometimes include the wedding party as well, so be particularly clear in understanding what is and is not being paid for.
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Weddings rock. The sentimental journey of watching your friend or family member walk down the aisle is wonderful. The decorations, the picturesque setting (and sometimes dreamy destination), the flowers, the cake, the food coma, the dancing. It's all enough to send you into a dream state, forgetting a few key things you meant to accomplish.
1. Pick out the top 3 people you want to catch up with and find time to visit with them. It can be easy for the night to fly by without your having gotten a chance to visit with people you'd meant to be sure to visit with. Even if you visit with each person for 10 minutes, it makes a big difference. Catching up with old friends or relatives is half the reason for going to weddings in the first place.
2. Cake. I'm a sucker for a good wedding cake. Even though they are calorie rich, wedding cakes are usually culinary masterpieces, so it's easy to have a bigger piece than necessary (or multiple pieces). The wedding I just attended this past weekend had doughnuts instead of cake (a great budget alternative). If you're watching your weight and really want to be good, plan to have a small piece of cake and no more. By thinking about this ahead of time, you'll save yourself the guilt and bloated feeling (trust me, I can attest).
3. Say something meaningful to the bride and groom. How many weddings have we all been to where the same robotic comment comes tumbling out: The wedding was beautiful, You look gorgeous, You look handsome, I almost cried during your vows, Nice reception location. Oh, come on! These newlyweds have been preparing for this single day for at least a year (sometimes longer). Every detail was purchased and pre-conceived. Find something original about the food, cake, ceremony, dress or vows and comment on that.
4. Don't miss the dancing. There are too many societal rules that constrain us in our everyday lives. Be free on the dance floor and shake your groove thing. If you're self-conscious, just smile and no one will fault you for having a good time. If you look like a vertical fish out of water, who cares! Join one of the dance circles that inevitably forms and clap as others make spectacles of themselves so you realize you're not alone. If you're married or dating someone, you have no excuse. What better way to get in the mood than spinning each other around on the dance floor.
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With Las Vegas dubbed the Entertainment Capital of the World, it's no wonder that our research at TripHub shows more groups planning trips to Las Vegas than any other destination.
Surprised? Don't be. Las Vegas has long been popular for bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, weekend gambling getaways (and gawking) for guys, easy-bake wedding ceremonies or full-blown weddings, and a launch pad for visiting the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam and other area attractions. And when conventioneers converge there, attendees often extend their stay and invite family or friends to join them.
Vegas continues to evolve, offering world-class shows (think Cirque du Soleil's Mystere, O, Zumanity, plus a bevy of Broadway, magic, and variety shows that thrill 'til dawn), concerts by renowned music artists, and more high-rolling resort casinos than anywhere else on Earth.
Even the anti-glitz travelers (ahem, like myself) who prefer tamer, more au naturale vacations, often admit that Las Vegas is good for entertaining and best enjoyed with a group of friends when you can double dare them to keep betting on the roulette table or give them a dollar bill to tip the dancer (that would be for the guys). The sweeping view from the top of Mandalay Bay is worth seeing, the Bellagio waterworks display dazzling, a massage at any of the luxury hotel spas relaxing, and other activities can fill your every waking moment. Sleep when you return home.
Planning a trip to Las Vegas with family or friends? Here are ideas to get you started:
Plan a weekend getaway with friends, bachelor(ette) party, family vacation, or wedding using TripHub by setting up a home page for your group, inviting guests, discussing hotels, sharing itinerary information, and more
Photos provided by Las Vegas News Bureau
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I'm not sure if it's the thrill of traveling, alcohol shared among friends, a romantic new setting, or the free feeling of being away from home and responsibilities. My guess is it's a combination of all that can convert travelers to accidental romantics, leading to travel trysts and even some long-lasting relationships.
But be careful. Traveling can also raise toxic levels of flirtation. Enough to make any travel companion gag.
How can group trips increase your chances of meeting that Mr. or Ms. Right Now (or, better yet, that special someone for longer)?
- Meeting up for drinks or activities with other like-minded travelers is a great benefit of traveling when you're still single. When traveling solo (especially as a woman), it's not necessarily as easy to meet someone (or safe). However, when with a group of family or friends, you can meet other travelers, knowing you're in the safe comfort of traveling with those you trust.
- Destination weddings are naturally themed with romance. Attending a destination wedding as a singleton is a sure fire way to meet at least one eligible bachelor or bachelorette. Be proactive or non-chalant. Ask your friends to introduce you to anyone "special" they know who's attending. Or casually scan the ceremony for singles, and then find yourself next to them in the buffet line at the reception.
True story: A bride groom and groomsman at a destination wedding of a friend of mine met at the wedding and struck up a long-distance relationship for over a year. They also toured around the destination immediately after the wedding day with other wedding guests. Last I'd heard, after taking a 6-month break, they are back together and may try to live in the same city.
3. Vacationing with friends opens doors to meeting someone. Whether camping, skiing, road tripping, gambling in Las Vegas, or just doing a weekend getaway, friends of friends usually come well-recommended or at least well-researched.
True story: A good friend met a woman who was equally as crazy about skiing as he was. Shortly after they met through friends, a big group of them planned a European ski trip in January, where they got closer and have been dating seriously ever since.
4. Friends serve as "wing men." If you're single and traveling with a group of friends and you meet someone intriguing, chances are your friends will be encouraging. And they'll have your back in case things go awry. This makes it all the more fun to flirt and get to know someone at a bar in a different destination than when at home, you may be more likely to play it safe and stay in your comfort zone of just visiting with friends. If nothing else, you can come home and brag about the best kiss you've ever had while on the London Eye with a saucy Brit you and your friends met while on vacation.
True story: Being as vague as I possibly can be to protect a friend of mine, let's just say I've heard the Italian Riviera is a great aphrodisiac. Limoncello helps.
5. Travel where singles travel. Club Med caters to groups such as golf pals, sewing cirlce (many singles, too). Hedonism resorts in the Caribbean have singles activities and welcome groups. And we all know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Beaches around the world are also laden with possibilities. Plus, ski resorts and towns during the winter months are group gathering meccas and ideal for warming up with a cozy kiss.
In general, when traveling with friends or families, have fun, be yourself, and get into the groove of the trip. Play it safe. And be cool. In no time, the natural relaxation of the destination and comfortable group could lead to a romance of a lifetime.
Any other ways group trips can add a little romantic spice to a trip?
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Whether you're engaged to be married or plan to attend (or be in) a wedding soon, one great way to prep for the big day is to watch films that imitate life, summoning the flavor of organizing, planning, and producing weddings and all the mental and emotional hoopla that goes with them.
I've noticed some important wedding themes that many movies do a good job of addressing. Here they are:
1. The Graduate Wedding issue addressed: parental "involvement" gone very bad.
2. Much Ado About Nothing Wedding issues addressed: misunderstandings and fixing up friends.
3. Runaway Bride Wedding issues addressed: cold feet and Julia Robert's character's insecurities.
4. My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding Wedding issues addressed: being Greek, eating lamb, multi-cultural weddings, family melodrama... couldn't this also be Italian, Jewish and a number of other weddings?
5. A Midsummer Night's Dream Wedding issues addressed: outdoor settings and wedding fantasies.
6. My Best Friend's Wedding Wedding issues addressed: being secretly in love with the groom or bride, how hot Dermot Mulroney looks in a tuxedo and Julie Robert's character's insecurities.
Looking for other movie recommendations? Learn how to create a personalized book, movie, tv and podcast recommendations list for your next trip or group event.
Update: Thanks to Josh for suggesting "Monsoon Wedding" be added to the list. Let us know what other classics we missed?
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A good friend of mine called to ask if I had ideas or advice for a bachelor party he is organizing for a mutual friend of ours from high school. As we talked, several ideas emerged that seemed fit to share.
1. Sports Theme: Does the groom like a particular sport? If so, you can center the bachelor party around a game/sport (baseball, football, basketball, hockey) or incorporate it into a day, weekend or evening event. Or maybe plan a tailgate bachelor party. Secure your tickets at least a month ahead of time and, depending on the event and group size, you may be able to get group rates.
2. Outdoor Enthusiast: Depending on the season and location of the party, outdoor activities (golf, skiing, fishing, white water rafting...) is a fun way to go especially if the groomsmen and other attendees don't know each other well. Consider finishing the day off with massages at a nearby day spa.
3. Bar-hopping: Nothing screams bachelor party louder than a group of guys parading from bar to bar getting progressively drunker. It's a classic that can be folded into a medley of activities or the focus of the evening. Consider hiring a limo, van or bus to shuttle the group from place to place and back to their homes or hotels at the end of the evening. The benefits far outweigh the costs and everyone should be able to pitch in.
4. Gambling: Where else but in Las Vegas (a.k.a. Sin City) is adult entertainment so readily available. Shows, concerts, alcohol anytime, gambling 'til your heart's content, and yes, strippers. The city seems built for bachelor parties. Since this trip is likely to be a weekend getaway, you can also spend a day sightseeing, golfing, etc. There are plenty of other gambling areas around the country: Atlantic City, Reno, etc. Or you could spend a day at the horse races betting on thoroughbreds.
5. The Stripper Quandary: A friend of mine quipped, "the only difference between a classy bachelor party and trashy one is the classy one has a stripper and other activities." I couldn't tell if he was joking. Some men want a stripper involved in their bachelor party, no question. Others may be up for a stripper, but not going to a strip club for hours on end. And still others might find it a bit too crass or cliché. Or they might be engaged to a woman who forbids it. Ask the bachelor how he feels about it before planning an event that could put him in an uncomfortable position. If he says, "My fiancé would kill me," he either means it (translation: don't mess with his marriage) or he's using it as an excuse to avoid a stripper altogether (translation: move on and plan another activity for his party).
6. Multiple Events: Often the groom's father, father-in-law, and others may want to join for part of the festivities. In this case, it makes sense to incorporate a dinner or other all-ages activity into the party. I've heard of a bachelor party that involved paint ball during the day with the groomsmen and dads, a fancy dinner in the evening, then groomsmen only hitting the town for the pre-nuptial bar-hopping ritual.
7. Budgets Vary: Because attendees may have a range of budgets, you might consider coming up with 3 good bachelor party options and putting it to a vote. Take into consideration what the groom wants, what the others vote for, then choose the option that best suits the greatest number of people. Likely the groom helped hand-select the invitation list and the more who can attend, the better for him and everyone else.
8. Location Considerations: Above all, if you're planning a bachelor party, ideas of your own should flow from the season and location of where the groom lives and where the wedding events will be held. Then you'll know if the event is during snow season, in the green hills, along a lake, at a beach, in a city with easy access to nightlife activities, during opening day of baseball season, around basketball play-offs... I'd advise to pick the date and location first, then plan the bachelor party around that.
Discussing bachelor parties can elicit strong and risque responses: Melissa wrote to share, "I would not let my boyfriend have one of this kind of parties..." To which Alex B. replied, "My girflfriend won't allow me to have one..." Mike B. added, "If you think your fiance will mess around then there is no trust in the relationship and it won't last..." An anonymous reader contributed this insight, "I think you missed the first crucial step: getting an idea of who will attend. Often the bachelor party is more for the people attending than it is the bachelor so you want to get an idea of what their expectations are." And, finally, another reader shared that their friend "rented a bouncy house and planned an awesome bachelor party with some interesting twists." We'll leave it at that...
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Follow these simple guidelines and you're sure to dodge trouble and get a (figurative) U.S. governmental stamp of approval on your wedding certificate from another country.
The U.S. State Department recognizes that a marriage abroad is valid if you follow the country's laws in which you are married. No American diplomat or consular office representative need be present at the ceremony. If you have any questions, you should direct them to the attorney general of the state in which you and your spouse will reside. Big caveat: If you are applying for a foreign nationality of another country (naturalization) you may lose American citizenship status. See the U.S. State Department's rules on loss of U.S. nationality in the link below.
For more information on U.S. citizens getting married abroad, visit the U.S. State Department's site.
And, if you're planning a destination wedding within the U.S., this post is a good place to start researching the rules, regulations, and any necessary paperwork.
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Check out our updated list of Top States for Destination Weddings!
Destination weddings are on the rise. Whether all the guests travel abroad, or a select few are invited, an increasing number of couples are heading to the altar (or beach) away from home.
I had the great pleasure of being a guest at a handful of destination weddings. The most obscure was in Bogotá, Colombia, the most picturesque was in Tuscany, Italy. Due to their exotic locations and the experience of going with a group, they were some of the most memorable occasions.
Here are some of the top places to exchange vows (other than home):
1. Las Vegas – Vegas is entertainment central with seemingly more wedding chapels than anywhere on earth. You can plan a complete wedding with chapel, flowers, officiant, photographer, and coordinator all for a few hundred bucks. Many chapels offer packages to suit your budget and taste. Get a video, have Elvis preside over the ceremony, arrive in a limo – you name it, Vegas has it.
2. Caribbean – Jamaica tops the list of Caribbean islands for weddings, but there are numerous island countries to choose from, rich with cultures and traditions and unique ways to experience a beach wedding. Set your budget, figure out which island best suits your love and plan an idyllic wedding that will leave your guests thanking you for getting married.
3. Hawaii – The Hawaiian islands seem perfectly poised to host wedding ceremonies with that famous aloha spirit of family, community, and tranquility. You can find intimate comfort at a number of beaches in Hawaii… dreamy, rugged rocky, long expanses of sandy, and other styles of shore all embrace couples with a warm charm. Hawaii is well known as a destination wedding mecca with plentiful wedding services.
4. Florida – Two things stand out about Florida for newly engaged couples: white, sandy beaches and fantasy-come-to-life Walt Disney World Resort. Couples who prefer sand in their toes, lapping waves, and sun are all set: beaches line the Florida coast. Choose your favorite Florida beach. Couples attached to the kid inside them can plan a fairy tale wedding at Walt Disney World.
5. Mexico – The spicy south of North America not only has blissful beaches for the vows, but resorts as destinations unto themselves for the whole festivity. While legal requirements may seem a little more cumbersome than other destinations, Mexico offers an experience all its own for you, the wedding party, your guests, and your honeymoon. Olé!
6. Europe – An increasingly popular destination for weddings. Europe is in a bit of a renaissance with a strong euro, European Union formed, and tourism booming. Brides and/or grooms with familial roots in Europe may want to reconnect with their heritage via the wedding ceremony.
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Legalese. Legal low-down. Rules and regs. Whatever you call them, they’re essential if you want the destination wedding of your dreams. Get the skinny on rules, regulations, and any necessary paperwork needed before getting married away-from-home.
From Alabama to Wyoming, WeddingWire has aggregated and summarized the marriage laws of every state. Identification, age, residency, wait time, blood test, witness, etc. requirements vary. Be sure to know the rules to make sure everything runs smoothly on your big day! Note, WeddingWire is a good starting point for your research but this article is dated 2019. Once you've settled on your wedding destiantion, we recommend checking individual state government websites to confirm their rules and regulations. Each state's Department of Health typically handles licenses for marriages and civil unions and maintains a website such as this one for Hawaii.
Planning to get married outside the U.S.? This post will point you in the right direction to learn whether your marriage abroad will be valid.
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If you're considering having a destination wedding, you're likely imagining a romantic or exotic location: a place that provides an experience by its mere existence. What makes a destination attractive? Why do so many brides and grooms tie the knot in certain hotspots?
Here are some answers to those questions that can also serve as a checklist to help you determine if a destination is right for your wedding.
1. Honeymoon moonlighting – By day it's a wedding, by night it's a honeymoon. Exotic locations away from home can also double as your honeymoon spot, possibly saving you money.
2. Vacation-ready – It's in a popular area that many guests would consider traveling to as a vacation, thus giving guests double the reason to attend the wedding. And, if you're looking for a little inspiration, here's our list of the top 10 states for destination weddings.
3. Activities galore – There are enough activities, entertainment options, restaurants, etc. to entertain large crowds (in groups or on day excursions in smaller numbers).
4. Hotels abound – In popular destinations, guests will have a wide range of prices to choose from for accommodations, which makes it doable for many families and friends (not to mention the wedding party itself).
5. Group discounts – Common destinations for weddings are not only some of the most popular vacation spots, they are also accustomed to hosting weddings, so hotels in these areas may offer group discounts.
6. Cost considerations – It can sometimes be cheaper than "producing" a local wedding. Fewer guests are likely to attend, so the guest list may shrink (which translates to fewer dinners to pay for, less space to rent, etc.). Plus, if you get married on a beach or in a chapel, affordable ceremony packages may be available.
7. Priceless experience – There's an intangible quality to a wedding in a dream destination. It's like being in a fairytale or movie and makes a lasting impression not just on the bride and groom, but everyone invited. I went to a wedding in Tuscany a couple of years ago. Sipping wine at the Italian villa reception, love was definitely in the air. Guests were giddy over the occasion and over being in Italy. And while the newlyweds batted eyes at each other, I was falling for the scenery.
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She's engaged. Your best friend. Your sister. Your cousin. Hard to believe the day is coming when she may take a new last name, have babies, and will settle into a home with her husband.
Send the bride-to-be off to married life with a bang or celebrate quietly. You be the judge of her taste. Ask her for input so you don't find her yawning through a theater show when she'd rather be doing Jell-O shots and giggling at "pleasure props," or vice versa, rolling her eyes at strippers when she’d rather have gone for pedicures and wine-tasting with her best girlfriends.
Here are some ideas I've seen (or helped organize) to punctuate the bride's last days (or night) being single with an all girls get-together.
1. Go gambling – Take the girls to Vegas with its concerts and shows galore, spa splendor, and outlet shopping. Walk down the Strip and take your pick of pleasures in Sin City. Book a hotel in any of the themed hotels on the Strip such as Wynn Las Vegas (newest Strip hotel with 18-hole golf course, spa, Cirque du Soleil shows and more), MGM Grand Hotel (tropical oasis created with multiple pools, and a river for tubing), Caeser's Palace (a tribute to the Roman Empire's decadence) and others. Other gambling hot spots with casinos, entertainment, restaurants, bars, and more for the bridal gathering include Atlantic City, New Jersey or Reno.
2. Spa day – Spending a day at a spa is one of the best ways to bond. Many spas offer packages with a multiple services combined (pedicure, massage, facial, manicure, etc.) for a discount. Still a spendy affair, but worth it for a special occasion like this and a great way to let girls be girls. Ask a spa if they have specials for bachelorette or bridal groups.
3. Swanky slumber party – Plan a weekend "get-away" to a local, luxury hotel for a night. Rent a big suite-sized room (or two, depending on your group size) to split costs while still enjoying luxury. The concept is ripe for variation. When I helped organized an event like this, my friends opted to bring food to the room and our own spa accoutrements to cut costs. We painted our nails and rented chick flicks, then swam in the hotel's pool before drinking and visiting in the room.
4. Wine-tasting – Women are a sophisticated and silly lot. Nearly every woman I know roars with wisdom on every subject under the sun: life, men, work, current affairs, gardening, the latest fashion fads, whathaveyou. All we need is a few good bottles of wine and the company of other women to let the laugher and conversation unfold organically. Give the bride a night (or entire weekend) of this quality time with the girls. Napa Valley is ideal for this flavor of weekend get-away.
5. Pub crawl in style – Create a map of the top five (or so) pubs, designate a limo driver for your group, and hit the town. Don't forget the playful props that will properly embarrass the bride (you know, that candy necklace for guys to take a bite of and pay her a dollar, or a tiara worn proudly to direct attention to the bride, and so forth). This tends to work best for younger brides and bridesmaids, of course.
6. Do lunch – Simply pick a favorite local restaurant of the newly engaged woman and make reservations. This is a classic way to involve co-workers or family friends and multi-generations. Create a festive air by making arrangements with the restaurant to decorate the table an hour ahead of time so when the bride walks in, the seating area is festive with streamers, her favorite colors, etc.
7. Camping and the great outdoors – Ahhh, the great outdoors. I've always found that camping with a group of my girl friends is a great way to relax, get some much-needed time away from city stress and obligations, and focus on each other. Some of the best friendship bonding time has been while camping or doing something else outdoors such as kayaking, hiking, or biking. If your bride is highly active and her closest friends are, organize an outdoor adventure. The options are endless. Ask her for suggestions and then plan the trip or day excursion.
8. Lingerie party – Prep the bride for her new bedroom and give her something pretty in pink or bad-ass black. You know her personality – pick something fitting. Careful not to embarrass the poor girl too much if her mom or grandmother is attending the shower.
9. Dinner theater – Options here are nearly endless, but are best geared for something that suits the bride's tastes and can offer a chance for group interaction. Do dinner before a show (Cirque du Soleil, comedy club, or a touring Broadway show), or find a dinner theater event such as a cabaret (Teatro Zinzanni in SF or Seattle) or restaurant that has live entertainment. If you're anywhere near New York, I highly recommend Mamma Mia! on Broadway. The wedding theme and disco dancing lend themselves perfectly to a bridal party.
10. Traditional bridal shower – Shower the bride with stories (funniest story about her), photos (funniest picture – everyone brings one and tells the story behind it), and focus the day on the bride. Whereas the wedding is all about the couple, this event should be solely focused on her and why she's such a great friend, sister, cousin, roommate, person. Traditional showers usually include a lunch or appetizers by the hostess at someone's house. Silly games are played like creating wedding dresses out of toilet paper and having the bride be the judge or opening gifts and tying the bows together to create a faux bouquet for her to hold while walking through the dress rehearsal. It's always a bonus when small door prizes are given out.
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You shouldn’t have to plan a family reunion or wedding all alone. Here are 10 tips for delegating with panache, keeping your finger on the pulse, and stepping aside for others to share the planning responsibilities.
Since weddings often turn into family reunions, many of these planning principles will also work for brides and grooms.
Tip 1: Make a checklist. Create a checklist of everything that needs to get done including deadlines and who is responsible for given tasks. Check this list often. As you get closer to the event, be sure to confirm the details with your service providers.
Tip 2: Start a chain reaction. When individuals get involved, they’ll become event champions who will promote the reunion to their respective branches of the family tree.
Tip 3: Enlist volunteers early. Right from the start, enlist volunteers to help with everything from creating and distributing "welcome kits" to planning specific events and activities. It lightens your load and allows you to tap into the creativity of your group. If planning a destination wedding, early help is critical.
Tip 4: Choose help wisely. You know your family. You know the flakes and leaders. The dreamers and doers. The bakers and candlestick makers. While everyone has talents and skills, I recommend choosing people with some planning experience for bigger projects. Those less likely to tackle bigger projects well would be perfect for a smaller, specific task (find and bring a cake for grandma’s birthday dinner). Match tasks delegated to those best suited for the task to create the most efficient use of everyone’s time.
Tip 5: Connections count. But use them carefully and don’t impose on anyone. Always ask. Never assume. Does Aunt Betty work in catering? Ask if she can find a good caterer. If a wedding or family reunion is in a major U.S. metropolitan area such as Seattle, Washington, D.C. or Chicago and Uncle Fred’s best friend can score a deal in baseball tickets, ask Fred if block of seats are possible to get.
Tip 6: Tap the creativity of your family. You’d be surprised what talents lay dormant in your family’s gene pool. Get help on projects or tasks where others have expertise such as building an up-to-date family contact list, designing a family Web site (for the graphically-inclined), organizing entertainment for an evening (use a family musician, perhaps), negotiating the best rate at hotels (think sales skills), chefs in the family can provide a "guest meal" one night (mmm… Uncle Bob's barbequed Asian salmon special), and so forth.
Tip 7: Avoid getting spammed. To avoid getting "cc'd" on every email communiqué, encourage the volunteers to make decisions on their own with the group and communicate that you just need to know the final details of their particular task(s). If they have problems/questions along the way, they can contact you. But giving them authority saves you time and gently ensures they’re held accountable, increasing chances they’ll complete the task(s).
Tip 8: Give credit where credit is due. Someone once told me that many who succeed "Delegate and take credit." While this was half-truth and half-joke, you should always give credit to those who help or lead a project. You may be organizing, orchestrating or rallying the troops, but many make it a success. Thank the academy.
Tip 9: Solicit ideas from those helping plan. There is a fine line between directing and delegating. I’ve learned people respond better when their own ideas are heard and carried out. They become invested and feel a personal sense of pride and accomplishment. That said, pay attention to quality and don’t be afraid to guide the process. Your feedback is helpful, as is theirs. Incorporate the best ideas from others and know when to (carefully) suggest alternatives to other ideas.
Brides, you have your ideas and your fiancé has his. So do your families. Use the best ideas, but ultimately the call is yours (and his).
Tip 10: Stay tuned and connected. You're still the leader of the group so once a task is assigned, it's important to follow up regularly to make sure everything's getting done. Schedule a weekly check-in with yourself and/or others to get a status of tasks completed and things that need a follow-up. The more organized you are, the more smoothly things will run.
Have any of your own tips or lessons learned? Care to add to any of the tips listed above? Your thoughts and feedback are welcome.
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